Smart's "By Grand Central Station I Sat Down and Wept"

"My Angels with sadist eyes" (26) @ Brooklyn Art Gallery

Weird. I completely thought that the narrator was a man, and that this was a beautiful story of illicit same-sex love.  It was not until page 38 when Smart returns home "another prodigal daughter" that I realised that she is, in fact, a she.  What a shift in perception!  I thought that the world was against them and had prepared to write about how the idea of inappropriate love has shifted through the decades, but clearly, the shifts have not been all-encompassing, as my complete forgiveness for the protagonist's actions suddenly had qualifications.

She "ask[s] no one's forgiveness for sins [she] refus[es] to recognise" (56), and it's certainly not my right or position to judge and forgive.  But still... I cannot help but recognise the my own shift in empathetic perspective from rejoicing in her stolen moments to a subtle disapproval (even as I pity her for the social disgrace and wonder at the arrest, even as gov't punishment for infidelity is as strange to me as gov't punishment for Communism).

Barker's incarceration and suicide attempts show that he's clearly crazy to love her, but isn't love always a symptom of insanity?  When Smart flirts with suicide, why is this so much more acceptable to me than Werther's childish and selfish act? Why is Smart's selfish and requited love for a married man more valid than Werther's unrequited love for Charlotte?  Is it only because her poetic prose is so much more effective at convincing me of the reality of her feelings, or is it because she is a woman, and I can better sympathise with her plight?

The moments described in the first chapter, those sentiments of  love... they're clearly real, overwhelming and heartfelt.  Maybe they're worth the disapproval. They're beautiful. Smart conveys the wild uncontrollable feelings of love with clarity and passion which dwarfs her heartbreak over Barker's reunion with his wife. These are the moments we/I live for and long for.  Heartbreak is part and parcel of love, but it shouldn't have to be, right?

Works Cited:

Smart, Elizabeth. By Grand Central Station I Sat Down And Wept. London: Flamingo, 1992. Print.